Miniseries: Consent (Part 5)-Final Thoughts (Without Slut-Shaming)

Remember Firestarters, 1808 means the topic(s) discussed will be frank and may use frank language you may not be comfortable having anyone under 16 read. This is the final part of a five-part series. Be advised. -Admin

One of the most phenomenal instructors I have ever had (and one of the hottest) was Dr. Kurt Schreyer at the University of Missouri-St. Louis. He made think and made me hate he was married and off limits.

In the depth of his lectures, I loved the Baird more and realized that primogeniture is steeped in patriarchy. This idea that controlling women, their appetites and sexuality, is the key to preserving everything patriarchy represents. Re-read Hamlet and Othello (which is my favorite play, btw.).  We an debate it all later over a beer or a sandwich.

In that, what I want to leave you with is  the idea that your self, your own self is to be–should be–defined by none but you. Only you.

You decide whom it is you let in your life, your bed, your intimate space. You decide whom it is you want to share your body and heart with. There will always be situations that are sketchy. Life is sketchy, dear one! You cannot sift out all the crazy, the pain or confusion. Like heat, water or air–it seeps in.  There will be situations you may not orchestrate, you cannot anticipate or cannot swiftly rectify, which need your consent (or your silence) to continue.

What I need you, urge you, to remember is the things you can control–control them. Know the company you keep. Don’t go against your gut into or in weird places. Buy your own drinks.

Dearest one, you  must value you–before you ever give any part of it away.



It doesn’t make you a slut or a stud for liking sex. It doesn’t make you a prude for being selective in your intimate, sexual company. But you have to give your approval for it all to happen! If you are deceived, or by any other means tricked out of that, that person assaulted you. From that, you deserved to be believed, listened to and seek whatever help to make life as it should be for you.

Women bare the burden of forced chastity. Men bare the weight of gaining or regaining manhood with or by sex. Consent is still a right and those whom earn yours should be deserving of all you are beyond words.

*Sex, intimacy, snuggling or snogging is special. The person you want to do that with should be too. It is always awesome to find a person to adore you with your clothes on or picking them off the floor.



*-Be safe. Buy condoms. Know your status. Get tested.

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