There is something to be said about trying to be happy, being happy and even wondering how to get back to happy. In this season gratitude, being happy is one of … Continue reading The Capability Of Being Happy
As a woman a faith, I have to remember the anchor scripture of the joy of the Lord is your strength. Things like gratitude journals have become buzz words and … Continue reading Your Life Should Be A Gratitude Journal
August is Activism month here on The Ideal Firestarter and I want to take this time to reach out to big women that are afraid to go out in public on their … Continue reading Not Pretty For A Big Girl, Pretty Period: Advocating Body Positivity In a Size 0 World
My grandmother said one thing about children that I still meditate over: “When children a little they step all on your feet, and when they get grown, they step all … Continue reading Mother’s Love In Mysterious Ways
TW: child neglect, drug addiction, abuse Thank you to Rebecca for her candor and present honesty. I know this piece was hard for her, and I am grateful she was … Continue reading Mothers Of A Different Sort: Motherless Daughters
I have been told my whole life how I look like my mother. Eyes, skin tone, face shape. At one time, I hated hearing that. Now, at 37, I embrace … Continue reading The Best Of It-Part II
Note from the Admin: I know this month we are talking about men and their edifying. This bonus post is testimony of having positive male role models, and the value … Continue reading For The Needed And Necessary
I am a beautiful, black woman. My ancestry spans oceans, time and intertwines legacies. It has taken so long to get to this point of radical self-love. I have decided … Continue reading In This Skin
I don’t remember ever wanting to be white. I remember wanting to be treated like the white girls in the movies were treated. I remember the darker skinned girls in … Continue reading The Cost To Be White
I cannot and do not count the number of non-black friends I have. I have no reason or desire to count the demographic of the diversity of people I encounter. Why? I have no need to be/search out/confirm who is the token.
To those unfamiliar, a token is the person that is among a social group to offset a homogenous appearance of said group. The/A token doesn’t hold any real status or power in the group but can claim some sort of exclusivity from some other social group.
Pro-Tip from Your Big Sis At The Ideal Firestarter:
DO NOT LET YOURSELF BECOME THE ONE BLACK FRIEND!
This type of nonsense opens you up to coonery and being the social fulcrum and focal point for the phrase, “Well, I have a friend and he is black and he’s not offended by ______.” Don’t do it!
By all means, associate with the well meaning world, but don’t cotton to madness either! If you look around your social circle and you are the only black person in it–and there are no immediate plans for that to change? Nall.
Don’t be used that way, fam! Don’t be set up to be sat out like that. Don’t become numb to the microaggressions and coded languages. Don’t become immune to what your spirit senses and reminds you is right!
Don’t allow yourself to be the one black friend because you may have no other black friend to help you when you wake from The Sunken Place.
[images from Google]