Internalized Misogynoir: There Are Too Many Tory Lanez


As the survivor of domestic abuse, as one who hid abuse because their spouse was Black, I believe Megan Jovan Ruth Pete.

in times of crisis is stress, Black women normally take on the role of caregiver and protector.

On that night of August 20, 2020, when this incident between her and Tory Lanez happened, Megan defaulted to the role that many Black women do in matters involving the police and violence–especially, when Black men are involved.

Even though she was hurt, she knew that the police could hurt him more! For her having that moment of empathy, sympathy for man who just hurt her–the world I wants to call her a liar.

Rather than try to check on her, and maybe he admit what he did wrong, Tory decided to be a terrorist to her. He’s decided the best thing he can do is to be white supremacy in blackface! But doing so, despite the evidence of the contrary, despite text messages that are now being shared, being analyzed, he refuses to acknowledge what he did to her.

But he wants to gaslight her, shame her with the anti-Black woman internet cheering!

Nikki Giovanni is still correct.

With all of Megan’s success, with all of her stature, she is still a Black woman.

But this is symptomatic of the greater problem in our community! It matters of Intimate Partner Violence, the expectation is that women should (1) just take abuse (2) or cover up for him.


Standing up for yourself as a black woman especially against black man seems to be almost blasphemous in this community!Expectation is that as a Black woman, she deserves nothing more than the scraps of relationships that some of us settle for.

And yet she’s not supposed to retaliate?

Despite the trauma of that night, Megan has been repeatedly exposed to this man, disrespected by this man, who hurt her only to call her a liar about what he did to her!

Our community has way too many Tory Lanez! The fact that he did this to her, with neither hindsight or insight; no apology; no loss of opportunities.

Yet, the fact this situation is being framed as her fault is mind-boggling! Why will Black men who know men like Tory Lanez not confront them? Hold them accountable for what they know is done? Why will they not run out the monsters in their midst?

Or is it the fact that if they confront him, they have to confront themselves too?

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