For The Sake Of The Kids

For the 2020-21 school year, my kids were doing virtual learning.

They were doing virtual learning during a global pandemic, and I was working nights.

I was working nights during a global pandemic, while my children were doing virtual school.

There were many a morning I had, knowing I had to work that night, and get them ‘to school’ and being able to function. I was making breakfast, lunch, and making sure bags were packed, along with Chromebooks charged. Taking them to my mom’s because they weren’t old enough to stay alone! It was so much…so, so much!

Yet, during the first part of the school year made my oldest daughter hyper aware of everything! But yet, this is the symptom left over from my second marriage. At the onslaught of YEAR ONE of the pandemic, all my ex did was watch the news! The kids at that time were in 5th and 6th grade! I had to remind him of that, and the kids need to be kids right now: let me be protected just a little bit…as best as we could!

But, the world seeped in.

There was a night I was home (I was off), and my oldest came in my room. This isn’t odd, as I like when my kids come and talk to me! My oldest told me that she thought I was going to die at work (I was working at a local hospital at the time). She was so scared I was going to get COVID (again this was 2020–lots of healthcare workers were sick, and there would be no vaccine until late 2020; we didn’t know that then) and…die.

This was a fear of mine, too. But I didn’t tell my kids. I didn’t want them scared.

My oldest said that? When she thought I would die and leave her (and her sister) here alone? I made the decision to…live. Like, to SURVIVE this! That was one of the reasons I wrote THOUGHTS IN A PANDEMIC (click here to buy that! Support Black writers!).

On the opening letter of that book, I called myself a COVID-19 survivor…when I was unsure I would be.

I would be lying if part of my motivation to survive this pandemic, endure this endemic, is to stay here…for them. If no one else.

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