Dear Mike…

“St. Louis will make you a warrior, or a poet.” -Jesse Sandoval, writer

Dear Mike,

It’s been six long years since I was pastor in Ferguson, Missouri. And so much has changed here, and so much has stayed the same. My only hope for you is that Heaven is much more quiet than any hood found in STL. It still feels surreal, still feels dream like–but I am sure that if it were not for death, life would never matter. There is so much that happened! So many more that have joined such a dubious roll of those whom have had their lives taken by the avarice and evil of those called to protect and serve.

At the end of President Obama’s term, now we are looking towards and forward to the end of the reign of the man  I shall not name here–but only call The Mad Titan.  And now, we as a people are still on and at August 9. That is scary, Mike. It, when I let it, robs me of hope. ButI learned something in the six years since you left the world, becoming an ancestor way before time.

It is always about time, isn’t it?

We are still fighting, Mike. We been fighting–since 1619, I’m sure. But we are fighting none the less! The hope was with the election of Wesley Bell as St. Louis County Prosecutor–unseating Evil Bob McCulloch–we wanted change. We believed him! And your case has not been re-opened. So, the man that took your life if still free–but he will never be truly free ever again.

I’m mad, Mike-Mike. I’m mad. I’m angry. I’m hurt. But, I’m not going to stop. I can’t stop. I will not stop. After all that has happened, I cannot stop. There is still too much to do.

You have proceeded John Lewis and Elijah Cummings and Toni Morrison in death. There seems to be some sort of quiet justice that they had confirmation for the progress made, and progress yet to be done. There is so much work, Mike.

But there are good things too!

Pastor Cori Bush is going to Congress!

Mama Cat is still being a superhero.

And…Ferguson has its first Black FEMALE mayor!

There are so many things that give me home, Mike. I am learning that hope indeed is a muscle and a discipline. And for something to be a discipline you have to do it often, in pubic and private, even when you think there are no results readily seen.

I’m doing that, Mike. My hope is in God, and that the world be a little better when I leave it. Words have power, so if I harness words–indeed, harness power–then it will change.

In that hope, for that cause, do I keep going.

Freedom is no longer on credit–it has a livestream.



Mother, Writer, Activist

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