*Admin note: The Ideal Firestarter does not participate in sharing of trauma porn. On the cusp of Men’s Month, I wanted to remind the Black men whom follow and support this space–we love you. -JBHarris

Family, My Torches and Fellow Firestarters:

I know that we are tired. I am tired. As one whom has aligned herself with all things lovely and melainated, I want you to know one thing on today. I get it.

I. Get. It.

Today, in the aftermath of #GeorgeLloyd, the mood today is different. We are moving different. And I want you all to know I get it. In the world that loves everything Black, but hates Black people, its hard to get up and do regular things! In this portion of the internet, I still work a day job to take care of me and mine. This morning, as I was getting all my day jobs things together, the thing that I keep going back to is, “I get it.”

Let me break it down like this.

In the aftermath of Doja Cat participating in Alt-Right group chats, Christopher Cooper bird-watching in Central Park, Ahmaud Aubrey and George Lloyd being murdered (all in a 30-day span!), it’s hard to get up and be/act disaffected by the world around you! The world which all you are trying to do is live in believing you have no right to be in it.

In Minneapolis, with this murderous police officer with his knee on the neck of George Lloyd, all I could think was the Ida B. quote: “Those who commit the murders, write the reports.”

I cannot imagine what it is like to a Black police officer today. I cannot imagine what it must be like in Minneapolis to be a Black police officer behind this ‘Blue Wall.’ I get it, fam. I get it.


Today, take care of yourselves, my Torches. Take care of yourself! It is okay to be mad, to not be able to cope, to realize what it is you cannot do or cope with anymore! It is okay to take a DAY and recalibrate! Matter of fact,in times like this you have to be pro-active with your mental health. Listen to me: take care of you!

Love on the people whom love you, whom need you, including the person in the mirror. Do what you need to do in order to find joy today. To find rest today. It is fine to ‘call in Black’ today. Black is not the default position on how to handle trauma. I cannot be the position that we as a people adopt because that may be all which we have been taught! There is more to us than pain, sorrow and suffering! If that means you need to take a deep breath and let the world spin without you–do that.

If that means after work (I get that taking off work isn’t always possible; that too is a privilege!), you just go somewhere and cry. Do that. If you need to go run or work out? Do that. But do not let the current state of the world convince you to store the wealth of the world’s trauma! You have a right to feel, to see and to know you are worthy to emote.

Remember that. Take off the cape, shoes and masks today.

Just be. Just breathe. And that is enough.

Light, Heat & Smoke,


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