Thoughts In A Quarantine: Spouses, Baes, FB’s & BreakUps

Trigger warning: Sex, relationships, break-ups

*-Not their real names.

Love is hard. Love in quarantine is harder.

This quarantine is something else altogether serious! There are people that are falling more in love, there are people who are working on babies and giving their parents grandchildren–and there are people who are breaking up. Man! I cannot image how single folk are really managing at this point! But I do know one thing, if the statistics are right–there is an uptick in IPV (Intimate Partner Violence) and child abuse since the quarantine happened.

There have been people breaking up, falling out, being caught cheating it is something that would make Wendy Williams sip her tea and cross her legs! I mean, there is something going on here, Torches. And my loves, it is not good. It really not good. Let me give you an example.

My friends *Rodney and *Denise are getting divorced. Divorced in the midst of a damn pandemic! I asked Rodney why, he said that he could not stand being with her anymore! This is/was the second marriage for both, and NOW he wants to leave? I had to press further, and when I did? He spilled everything. He said that he was tired of doing everything himself, he was tired of feeling unappreciated. He said that there was ‘just so much’ that happened between them over the 8 years they had been married, and he ‘just couldn’t do anymore.’

Conversely, in the group I’m in (shouts to #PussyTrauma!)? The women in this group are becoming more sexually aware, and more body conscious, bold enough to detail some of their escapades during this pandemic! I’m talmbout with raw dog details, Dominants, fetishes and fuck buddies! Then, the sweeter parts is what give me hope: the people who have found there way to the love they want and deserve. I love that. That gives me hope. I love the folk who are dating on Match, finding love through these random Zoom meetings, and through Facebook Messenger.

However, the underlying theme is there are more to relationships than people think. They are supposed to be these honest spaces, capable of growing and swaying. There are some folk who cannot do that! There are people who cannot handle regular stress, whom are not good in regular crises! So, when you add THIS CURRENT LEVEL of stress? Man, people crack like eggs.

Like. Eggs.

What I do, what I have decided to do in this time is to be available. To be transparent about what I need, and who I need it from. I have been checking in with myself! I have been taking such care of me that I cannot trip or be concerned about who can’t stand to love or be around me. This quarantine has shone me that not everyone’s relationship is not built to last, and they are on borrowed time. They are pressure cookers! And if people don’t deal with the things they hide from, they will wind up being a Denise–packing their stuff when their Rodney is at work, and not speaking to them again. The stranger part? Rodney is sleeping better than he has in years–because he no longer has to fight for something which no longer has weight to it. He was tired of being the egg that cracked.

Be mindful, Torches. Some people’s lives are only meant for social media–not for a lifetime.

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