28 (29) Days Of Blackness: Cultural Conversation #4-Pay The People Who Move You…With…Food?

A humorous take on a cultural phenomena. Relax! It’s Black History Month! -JBHarris

Image result for pizza orders
I remember when Dominos used to be trash! And for school pizza parties! And is the unofficial pizza you give to people for helping you move! Ha! But how?

When we were growing up, one of the worst things to do was pack. I hated packing. I hate unpacking. I hate renting the truck. I hate gassing up the truck. I hate taking the truck back! Look! If I could just be like Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie and just boing! everything where it needs to go? I would. But my mom, oh, she hated it more. Luckily for her, she had her brothers, husband and able-bodied nephews to get voluntold to help.

But I have seen on more than one occasion no money being given to move–but a meal. And for me? I, too, have paid the people I love, whom help me move, in food. Unshamed. Flat out. Deadass.

In reflecting on this, I can think of four reason why this happens (and none of them are petty):

1.) Moving is stressful. From first and last month at a new place, finding said new place, and getting thing prepared to move, the LAST thing you are thinking about is paying people to help you move! Flat out. Honestly, what I cry to do is plan the money to pay who is going to help me a couple months before (if possible). If its not possible, I let folk know up front! But, I always offer food (pro-tip: on getting college students to help you). If everyone knows from jump, no one can be mad about being paid in pepperoni, cheese and cold soda.

2.) Moving always goes over budget. The one thing that I have learned in the times I have moved (or HAD to move!) it always seems to be more money than what you think it should be! That is always stressful. Instant headaches. INSTANT. INSTANT!

Image result for pizza orders
Specials. Yes. Feed the tribe! Lord…everything costs!

3.) Read and recite aloud: The truck. The truck. The truck. Getting these trucks are the most ridiculous expenditures of time, effort and energy ever. And they suck up most of the money (read: drop of money you have!) alotted for the moving situation! I mean, its an uncomfortable decision! Like do you save money and get the smaller truck and risk not everything fitting–or god forbid–and having to make more than one trip! Or you get a a bigger truck, throw everything in it, and do it all in one fell swoop! Pro-tip: do the one fell swoop.

4.) You either want this paper or something to eat before you go? Look, the average truck rental is calculated by hour and mile. The card is on file with the company, and fam only got the money to get cash in this gas tank for my own whip and this big country truck! What I will have won’t even (really) be enough to really thank you for getting up early on a weekend, leaving your spouse (or bringing them!), your kids and with our powers combined, we move washers, beds and couches! The best thing, the absolute best thing I can do is to feed you and the folk you brought for your help. Laws of Blackness say there is one pizza order, they all have to be larges, and everyone gets 3 pieces. And we eatin off paper plates! Why? We don’t know where the dishes are–and we ain’t about to try and find them till tomorrow.

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