Resolutions Are Not Wishes. Stop Thinking They Are.

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The phrase “a dream is a wish your heart makes” is only applicable to Disney films. The rest of us have to work.

My dear, dope Torches:

I need you all to understand resolutions are not wishes, they are plans. They are supposed to be representative of the changes you want to make in your life. They are supposed to be attainable goals, which are a form of change. This is always a good thing. However, what I think is the major hang-up resolutions are they don’t stick.

Life is hard, loves. Sometimes it is easier to stop something than to continue it. If you have a resolution to go out more, this is great. But what if your have seasonal depression or generalized anxiety? What if you make the decision to eat better, and still have your go-to stress/comfort foods (I am guilty of this one myself)? Some days it is easier for me to stop and grab a donut than it is to eat the fruit that is on my kitchen counter!

The thing to remember, Torches, is that resolutions are up to you. They are not just to be made at the first of the year. There is a romance attached to resolutions, though. There is this mystique to saying what you will do, and the magic of believing all will be well at the stroke of midnight.

This is not so, my loves.

Resolutions are work. And depending on what you resolve to do, they are (and do take) a lot of work! In being successful in these chosen areas, will take work. It just will!

It will take the continued decision, keeping your goal in mind, to be successful. It doesn’t matter if you ‘mess up’ one day! Don’t let that derail what it is you want to accomplish! Don’t let the rough days to discourage you from thinking tomorrow will be better.

Resolutions are equal parts decision-making, hard-work, and belief in self. If you believe you can, you can. If you believe you can’t, you can’t. Simple as that.

There is no wand, my darlings. No magic beans. No spells or fortunes. Resolutions are personal, and require a personal commitment to being intentional to that change.

If you have the stress donut (oh, it’s a thing!), the secret cigarette on break, or get scared about the change on the other side of your resolution–that’s okay. It happens! You are not perfect–resolutions are not made so you can become perfect. They are made to inspire you to change the things you an control. From changing that one thing, you may be inspired to change other things.

I know the sexy thing is to be the change you want to see in the world. But the sexier thing is to become the person you can be most proud of, happy and content with them. And maybe reward yourself with a donut.

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