Self-Care Is Not A Discriminator Of Persons. Neither Should We Be.

‘Self-care’ seems equally simple and complicated. We know that self-care can be any and everything: from a Starbucks visit to a 10 day stay in Oahu. We know that no matter the person or their circumstances, self-care is important. We all need that recharge time, that healing and recuperation in order for us to remain level headed and stable. We all know this about ourselves…so why are so many of us judging people for how they tend to their needs? 

I see posts on Twitter and Instagram all the time saying things like, ”yall buy cappuccinos but don’t have passports”. I’ve heard, ”B*tches go to Miami twice a year but never been to Mexico” and ”save your money to buy a home and stop being broke.”  Honestly, when I hear these kinds of things, I’m immediately annoyed. How dare any of us be checking into another person’s pockets? How could you even fix your mouth to shame somebody for indulging in a coffee? 

Some people are literally too poor to save money. When your only spending money is $5, sometimes that Starbucks is the one nice thing you can do for yourself that week. Why would you begrudge anyone that small happiness in such a rough time? 

I understand that some people want to be encouraging. They hope that by pressing you to save and ’manage’ your money, they’re assisting you on the way to a higher level of living and in many cases, it does help. However, we all know someone who is struggling no matter how hard they work, no matter how many jobs they have, that coffee–that coffee is as good as it gets this week. I deserve to have my coffee in peace regardless of whether or not I have a stock portfolio or passport. I deserve to feel good about being able to enjoy my espresso and caramel instead of craptastic office break room coffee. 

It’s so easy to think it’s a simple thing to be able to go and get your nails done, or your hair trimmed but for some people that is a huge luxury. I want people to recognize that people should be allowed to pamper themselves in whatever way they choose. Everyone can’t go to Hawaii this year Janet.

And no, I don’t want to save up my coffee money for a year because I want to have my Starbucks today because I need it TODAY.

Get out of my pockets and my face.

Thank you. 

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