For The Queen To Be: Part Deux

Right now? You are in your 20’s and you are lost! 

Yes, you have a job, a car and living on your own, but it wasn’t by choice. You let money make the decisions for you versus looking at what a quality education could do for you in the future.

 I get it. 

Who is thinking about retirement, 401k’s and mortgages at 20? You need money to get your done with the Tiki Punch polish! Your hair needs to be laid, and your outfit has to be right for the club tonight! You don’t have time for college! That will cause you to only work part-time, and make less money. What did your mother tell you? 

“You are not grown until you are living in your own place, paying your own bills!” 

No wonder you think you know everything. 

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You manage to be in relationships, and as you see they didn’t work out? You did what you thought was best in them. You were a domesticated dream. You cook, clean, do laundry, run the bath water. You even feed his friends and make them wish they had someone like you in their life! 

Chile, that mouth is a piece of work! 

Right now, you have this gift that serves as a curse. You have the ability to verbally go off on someone and make them wish that never crossed you. At this stage, you don’t know how to use it effectively:   only abrasively. Your tough exterior does a great job of masking you soft, gooey core. What you don’t realize is it blared through for those 6 years you dealt with Mario and all of his B.S. convincing yourself that you were ok with his cheating. Telling yourself, “What’s the point of bitching and complaining if your aren’t going anywhere?” Living within that philosophy. 

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My darling, when Mario died? You didn’t know at the time, but your strength and resilience made a comeback. However, grief made you vulnerable and reckless. You fell into the woes of someone that played on your grief. By the time you realized that he was indeed a wolf in sheep’s clothing, you cut him off with the quickness, but it wasn’t that easy, because Mr. Charming left you with a gift. 

Yes, I’m talking about your daughter. 

Once it was confirmed you were indeed pregnant, something in you shifted. Yet, it was a familiar feeling. Can you guess what it was? Your strength and resilience kicking down the doors once again. 

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You are a 26-year-old a single mother to a beautiful girl. You are softer now. You are more patient (but you still quick with the clapbacks!). You start to learn to think before you speak, because you have someone that depends on you for everything. So, you can’t be out here messing up the bag, sis! 

You are growing and learning. 

You are self-reflecting and beating yourself up for not pursuing a college education. Y

ou are lacking a career path, but you are determined to make sure that you make it happen for your family. Superman comes into your life. He teaches you, but he also makes you take steps back in your self empowerment journey. You become the woman you said you would never be. A woman that depends on man. This love is so bittersweet that you lose yourself for a while. 

Don’t worry, sis. This isn’t where it ends

I’ll catch up with you next week. Until then keep smiling and stay confident. 

I love you.

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