When You Get To Be You

Author Note: I am a cisgendered, Black heterosexual woman. I have decided as a matter of safety, love and justice, to make this blog a LGBTQIA safe space. I thought it would be disingenuous to celebrate Men’s Month on The Ideal Firestarter without celebrating all those of you whom are my Torches whom identify as queer/LGBTQIA. -JBHarris

I was 17 when Matthew Shepherd was murdered in Wyoming. I remember not understanding why he had to die. And why it is that to be ‘gay’ needed to be punishable by death.

I want you to know dearest one, that I love you. That I am proud of you. That I am proud you have decided to love who you love. I am proud that you have decided to make your life as your own, and do those things which are the best for you.

I cannot imagine what it is like for you to be queer, or trans, and living in a world that seems to wish for your destruction. But, as a mother, as a parent, I tell my children the same thing that I am going to tell you:

“There is nothing you could ever do, to make me not love you.”

I take nothing away from your time, beloveds. You could spend your time anywhere else on-line, but you choose to follow here. I want you to know that you are loved, you are safe and accepted. I don’t closet love you. I love you in the open. I am proud of you in the open.

For my Torches that are gay and male, I see you beloved. For my Torches that are transmen, I see you beloved. I see you and I love you. Let this small space be your affirmation to live your life, dear ones.

I want you to know that you are not a prop, you are a person. You are a not a characture or a wallflower. You are not relegated to the shadows, but to be celebrated! You have the right to be and move and love and achieve in this world. You have every right to go and move and do–being loved as you desire! Without shame or deadnaming!

Don’t let anyone trick you to think you don’t belong in the world. Or try to make you leave it before time! I want you to know that as a mother, I see you. And because I see you, I love you.

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